So K. was only a few minutes late today. It’s a banner day.

I’ve been stewing about the damage his lateness/unreliability/canceling/attitude does to the children. And a few things have given me pause:

Two days ago, Thing One got in bed with me and said that if he went to Daddy’s house to spend the night, he wanted to take his own bed, but that if he did that I had to make sure Daddy didn’t get in his bed and “be too scary.”

Yesterday, Thing one got in bed with me (he does this nearly every morning) and said, “Daddy’s sick. He has to go to the doctor. He’s sick from yelling at me too much.”

Today when K. got here, Thing One wouldn’t look at him, and Thing Two clung to me and cried. I got Thing One settled with a movie and K., who has had his hair cut into a Zac-Efron-esque long-bangs ‘do, started telling me about how last night he made a drink that everyone liked out of pineapple mango juice and brandy. “I called it the Gaugin,” he said. He seemed very pleased and repeated twice that everybody liked it and was blown away by it and it was the hit of the evening. Twice.

Then I revisited a conversation we had ten days ago wherein he’d said that his running a bar “would have a positive impact on the world.” I joked that it was like that Dave Matthews song where he says “hike up your skirt a little more/and show the world to me” — it’s a very limited ‘world’ that’s being ‘positively impacted.’ He didn’t react. I said, “You do realize that was a funny thing to say?” He laughed and said yes. Then I said something else and he said, “I can’t talk about philosophy or the ideas behind this. I don’t have any ideas.”

“Well,” I said. “Maybe you should get one.”

But aside from giving me a great opportunity for one-liners, I’m starting to get a clue from his attitude that he doesn’t have an idea right now. Not any. Not thoughts about thoughts. He’s a mouth and a stomach and he is existing on a physical plane. Conceptualizing, abstract thought, or emotions are apparently beyond his realm of comprehension.

Which makes a lot of sense, actually.

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