Yeah. Right. So:
“You’ve eviscerated all goodwill. You changed my son’s name. Fuck you.”
And therefore, he is paying $300 less in child support tomorrow. Because apparently, the child support is “my only way to express my protest.” And apparently, it has nothing to do with the children. Apparently, it’s all about me.
I tried talking to him about the importance of our having a good working relationship. I tried asking him if I had treated him with the disrespect he was showing me. He couldn’t think of anything except the name change, which he contends was ALL ABOUT HIM and disrespectful, exactly the same as his telling me “fuck you.” He also contends that I have no reason to be upset with him.
Oh, to be so solipsistic. Meanwhile, he’s right: I won’t retaliate because it would further negatively affect our “working” relationship and the children. But does he realize that he already has negatively affected the children?
June 15, 2009 at 12:58 am
If the child support amount is set by court order, then you should inform the court of the abrogation.
June 15, 2009 at 5:09 am
Oh, I know. But it’s a bit more complicated than that. The current court ordered amount was set when his income was $3k/month; the last three months, he averaged $4k. We agreed that he would keep records of his income, since it fluctuates and comes largely in tips, and that we would reset the child support every three months based on the new average and according to the child support calculator online. So we had done that, and the new total was higher, but it’s unofficial (although still, mind you, the state guideline). He’s paying me the old, court-ordered amount, banking on the idea that I will not take him to court over the difference because it’s too big a pain, and he may be right. I would win, but it would be onerous and expensive; furthermore, he flatly told me that he’s “no longer keeping records” and that “on paper, I make less, so it wouldn’t appear I made that much,” and when I asked if he would perjure himself instead of paying the proper amount, he said, “well, I’ve become awfully forgetful these days.”